Mar. 28th, 2007

What is.

Mar. 28th, 2007 03:02 am
transpao: (Default)
There has been a Mistake.
There is A decision.
There are The moments.
There is Pratchett.
There is hope.
There is fear.
There is desire.

I do not wish to pretend anymore. So much is a charade. You think you KNOW me. They all think they know Me.

I'm sorry but I am not 2 dimensional. Stop treating me that way. I wish everyone would stop making assumptions, stop trying to read my mind, I have a goddamn mouth... and if you cannot tell when I lie or you don't get an answer... perhaps those are your answers.

I feel as if everything I was... so much of my past has been severed from me. No way to explain to anyone new... and no one left who was. except maybe [ profile] wolven.and much to my chagrin... he hasn't been a larger part of the time I have known him.

I'm wearing the shorts she mended for me years ago. With the... ever so suggestive patch. for fuck's sake why do I want to tell her that. Why do I hope she'd read it. I know. I know exactly why I wasn it... and I hate it.

The last ten years have been a Lie... and I told it to myself.

There is Magik! but I can't... I know I'm strong enough mostly just to end up fucking myself over.

There is The Future. No past. I feel like I am trying to build on sheer nothing... you know The Nothing from The Never Ending Story.

I always liked the name Atreyu


transpao: (Default)

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