Jan. 21st, 2007 11:31 pm
transpao: (Default)
Nothing I tried, did anything
but push you further from my side
now there is nothing left
but hallow consequence
wrapped in a hardscape of pretense
transpao: (Default)
Why am I still drawn to things I do not cherish?
You have lost your divinity
Now your words sound as blaspheme to the works of real demi-gods
You are lost and childish... why does that make me sad?

Yet here I sit and stare
just as the vacant souls that warm pews on Sunday
Babylon is fallen is fallen and all the graven images of her gods he hath broken
Faith dies a mighty death at the hands of the stupid


Today... today has been mundane yet strange in it's own right.
Last night I was up until 3am working on school work. I thought for sure I would be awake at a decent hour, so I didn't bother to set my alarm. And to tell the truth I did wake at 9 and 10:30 and 11:30, but not really as it was the sort of awake that almost insures you'll go back to sleep.

I was supposed to go in early to class today. I sort of did. i wentin at 2:30... Class starts at 3:15. I studied some, but spent the majorit of the period finding out that my little $4.95 Jump drive was too small to fit even one of the .ppt files i need for class on it all at once.

Once class got started it was as if some sort of very strange tranqulizer had been pumped into the room. I don't mean that we were sleep... no it was jsut that everything was oddly relaxed. There was No formality at all. Some of the girls said they weren't ready for the quiz so she gave us another 30 minutes to of clas time to study. I had to get her to print out my plant ID reports for me because I was a dork and hadn't printed them prior to class... I also didn't have my photos and it was all okay... not jsut okay as in it didn't kill me but it was jsut a really strange mood over the class

And then came hort 100. Talk about a twilight zone worth of a class. What could have been the hardest test ever... that I really hadn't done a lot of studying for... she gave us not only open note, but allowed us to go onto a website that she got the test questions from that told us the answers. We didn't even have to look for them in the text the practice quizes were answered right there in front of us. Then we spent the rest of the period giving this one guy in class (that is a total moron and twerp) tips on how to pick up some girl he was interested. Hell my Prof. even made me look amateur at my info gathering (see: stalking) ability... she found out the chicks name from the guy and started going to different search engines for him to find out if she could find a marriage license and shit.

Do you ever get the feeling you walked through a minefield unscathed?
transpao: (Default)
I can't take a night away from you
I can't take a day away from you
But I can take the sun
I can take the moon and
I can make the stars go out
There is something in the power of love
I am hopelessly devoted to you
You and me we make three
there's you
there's me
and then there is we
may tomorrow shine
with our-selves intertwined

wow I haven't written a poem in a while...
what'cha think?
transpao: (Default)
"I hate you when, you ask me why
I miss you when, I don't feel inside
I love you when, you undrstand me
It kills me when I understand me
I fear you when I fear myself
I wish believing more then I believe"
Terribly When - The Last dance

I am sucpicious of the world.
I am scared of all the ghost that stand behind you
I'd love not to compair
I'd love to believe
I'd love to trust, to be naive

Fear consumes me and tears fall
Do you think they didn't say the same things?
Do you think they told me they would lie?
Do you think I would be afraid to know?
To understand the reasons behind...
all the falacies... all the dishonesty...
I'm sorry it affcts you...

Do you think I enjoy the disapointment?
Do you think I like to be in pain?
Do you question my motives?
Do you think I question yours?

Would it be better if I didn't bother?
Are you afraid of my anger?
Would you fight with me?
Would you lay next to me and love me, despite yourself?

The times I trusted... I shouldn't have
The times I lusted... I shouldn't have
The times I cried... I shouldn't have
The times I loved... Please don't tell me I shouldn't have

I want your understanding... not compliance and sympathy
I know I'm broken and hard to comprhend
My logic is a labyrinth,
I'd fix it if I could
I'd take away all the strings
I'd never doubt or worry
I'd never jump to conclusions
I'd never cry or anger...

I dunno how to finish the last bit...


transpao: (Default)

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