So this is depression

[transpao]

I'm not sure why I'm bothering to write this. The likelihood that anyone will read it and have anything of use to say is beyond low.

There isn't anything to say anymore. I sleep so I don't have to be awake. talking about things only seems to make it all worse. I don't want to be around anyone much. in fact I can think of only two people on the planet I care to really talk to... neither of whom will speak to me. Ironic isn't it?

I have come to the conclusion that it is simply a matter of fact that I'm an emotional wuss. I also have some inherent fucked up qualities that aggravate this fact. happiness is something that is simply impossible for any length of time given these paradoxical qualities of my nature.

I think I have resigned to being miserable. The only real operative now is to reduce the impact of my misery on others.

Comments

[lacroix132002.livejournal.com]

reducing impact is one thing ;/ disapearing is another.Frankly you are too hard on yourself,but you knew that already,just know we are always around and you know who we are .

[le-bizarre.livejournal.com]

Is there really nothing to do against your misery? No hope any more?

[paosparti.livejournal.com]

I don't know some days I think there is hope and others I don't. I'm just exasperated. I've been struggling with it for so long it feels like there is nothing to do but just exist with it.