I'll try this again...

I just tried to write a bit in here a lost myself in anger and selfpitty so I ditched that entry in hopes that I wouldn't bore everyone to tears with my droll whining...

Something I just noticed though is that it's rather amazing how depressing and empty messanger list is. It tends to give me that horrific feeling of total isolation. Everyone else has somethign better to do then be online right now, which in turn makes me rather fucking pathetic, seeing as how I am here alone listening to CXS's "The Myster of the Whisper" trying to drowned myself in crown royal and fucking 58 cent check cola, whiching despritly that there was someone to talk too... someone that wanted to listen to my shit... or at least could stand to ignore the IM while I rant...

I'm not even sure I remember why I miss him so much. I'm not even sure that it matters. He showed up tonight... only for a bit... jsut enough to tare down all the work I had done telling myself I'm over him.

Cruxshadows lyrics
( Monument )

But it doesn't matter... honestly because while I may miss him more then anything, I honestly thing that I am finally accepting of the fact that I will never see him again... I will never touch his face... I will never run my hands accross his scar or his tatoos

Save me...

I haven't eaten all day... can't seem to make myself.

The thought of turtal bownies (without nuts) sounds good but no energy to go to the store, no money to buy them, and then I'd have to stay awake long enough to cook them...

I'm really going to miss him...

I'm so frustrated at the moment but right now I'm to tired to be angry.