un-loved

[transpao]

Thoughts keep kreeping into my head.
They haven't been very good.

I think I have come to the conclusion I drempt while in the coma. It has taken me so long because I thought for so long that it all really happened. Bits and peices begain to sluf off, in the face of reality. And I was told that I was not actually awake for very long while in the actual ICU, but I remembered several days. Though to tell you the truth the sequince of events throughout those days fallowed closer to dream logic then real logic.

The other strange bit about the coma is that I know of the miricals Ila preformed... yet she does not apear in any of the "memmories." I had memmories of my parents doing crazy things. and I "rememmber" a nurse who at first tried to help me then got in trouble for it and begain to treat me horribly that to tell you the truth had an incredible likeness to Jill. Where IS Ila? Was the miricle that she simply soothed my mind and stopped the nightmares?

I feel like few of you if any ever actually read my journal anymore. What is it in me that keeps writing? What is the Much ado quote that has always struck that cord within me... "It is a wonder you are still talking Signor Benedick, for no one marks you." (PS. I grabbed this off the internet, but I'm not sure it's the correct wording. Anyone better at scantion than I am that can check the iambic pentamiter? Or just someone have the play handy? that is of course if you are actually reading this.)

but worry not your pretty little heads about me kiddies, I'm sure this ill favored mood will pass upon the morrow.

Comments

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I ceratinly read. So count me as "few" I guess.

[paosparti.livejournal.com]

tanka.

[lacroix132002.livejournal.com]

I often wonder if the dreams we sometimes have are the events of what happens in the alternate world created when we make our choices.......

[paosparti.livejournal.com]

These were CRAZY dreams... at lest some of them. Some of them feel within the first week of reality... IE the one where they broke me out of the hospital and then put me back in the bed with some sort of crane and cracked the wall to my hospital room and then the nurse that looked like Jill tried to cover it up and say that I was miss possitioned in the bed because she was bathing me and had sprayed windex on my bum and was "toweling " it off and the doc got suspicious so he licked my er... rump... and I mean the rump part not the anus... dirty boy.