burn festivals

[transpao]

I've been invited to go to a burn festival. I can't decided if I want to go.

the thing is that I'm terribly xenophobic... in the since of being someone afraid of strangers as the literal translation means rather than someone afraid of foreigners because they are from somewhere else. The person that has invited me is a very independent person. I don't see him as wanting to stick with me much during the event. I'm afraid that at least for my very first time I'd need a baby-sitter. Someone that would at least spend the majority of the event with me and help guide me through everything, and be a bit of a security blanket for me.

I've never been to one of these festivals before. Honestly never really understood what the draw is. That is both part of the reason I want to go and part of the reason I don't. I for the most part have a largely negative view of them, I feel bad that I have the prejudices against something and I've never even done it. But what if all my fears are correct and get locked into a weekend that I absolutely hate, and worse have paid for.

I'm also worried about the massive amount of drug use that will be going on. I don't really use. What I have used before has often provided me with unexpected and sometimes quite terrifying results. For instance pot makes me have delusions, panic, and even blackouts; which as I understand it isn't the reaction most people have from it. But it is difficult to see all these people who appear to be having an amazing time and outrageous experiences without being able to partake. If I can't join the fun I get resentful, but if I do join the fun it isn't fun for me, or at least I can't garontee that it will be.

I'm also not sure I can handle being around users in a physical since. I don't really know why, but drunk men have always made me extremely uncomfortable, especially stranger drunk men. I can't even imagine how people on every drug known to man are going to make me feel.

But on the pro side, what if it's amazing. What if I love it as much as all the other people that rave about how awesome these sort of things are? What if it opens up a whole new avenue of experiences for me?

It's something the person that invited me does on a regular basis. It's something he really really enjoys. It's a big part of his life. He does this a lot. I would like to understand that more.

Comments

[wolven.livejournal.com]

At present, I'd say talk to the person, and let them know what you're feeling. Then, if they don't think they'll be able to stick with you, don't go. The cons, without a guide, seem to outweigh the pros.

[paosparti.livejournal.com]

He isn't. I know that. I'm thinking maybe of trying to find other people that would like to go. Lots of people seem to really like these things. I mean burning man is fucking huge. I will be very angry at myself if I don't go.