*cries* Dragon con

It is really starting to hit me that I'm not going. I had to write a bad check last night to get gas with. My great costume, is still an unaltered jacket. I have major projects I'm supposed to be doing for class. I feel like I would do most anything to go this year. Gods how I need a weekend of partying and fun. The only problem is (well besides no money) is that it would peobably turn out like last year and I'd feel all alone in a huge crowed, cause No one wants to go with me, and I'm no good at mingling. It just makes my heart ache more, on top of the already jagged broken-ness of it.

Feeling so fucking alone right now. I miss him something aweful. Gods I feel like we really I mean really understood things about each other that I rarely ever find.

It has been so long since I fell for someone. Falling for them only to be "Second best" again... gods I feel like I'm doomed to live out the rest of my life with that lable.